i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
My vagina just clenched in fear
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
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