you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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