Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I am one with the molecules
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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