she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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