loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
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