I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
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