Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Randomize
