A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Randomize
