We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Randomize
