I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
