Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Randomize
