OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
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