Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
I can tuck mytits in my pants
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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