so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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