Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Your penis caused this!
Randomize
