Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Randomize
