This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
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