in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize