sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Randomize