What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
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