It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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