exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Randomize
