He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
tequila makes me forget i have legs
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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