Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
