I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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