i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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