everyone is single if you try hard enough
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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