He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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