Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
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