Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Randomize
