Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
