That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Randomize
