everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I came so hard my ears popped.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
