Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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