You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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