it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Fuck appropriateness.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Randomize
