Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
