I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Randomize
