The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
