at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
