Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Randomize
