So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
Randomize
