why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize