Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
