The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
