Will you blow on my dice?
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
