College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
