i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
In other news, I just burned my penis
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
