I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Randomize
