Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
