thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
