I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
