Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
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