So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
