don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
