Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
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