She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
